in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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