ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
