what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
