hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
