You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
