That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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