It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
