he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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