So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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