Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
