I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
