well most of my day revolves around power hour
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
