why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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