Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
