didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
