and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
