Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
