I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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