just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
