Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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