1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize