I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
