HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
