Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
