I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
