weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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