i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
