HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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