I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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