what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
