After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
