it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
