i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
