Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
