No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Pants are for mortals
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize