I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
