shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I love you.
Bad choice
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
