College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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