Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
