I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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