Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize