you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Houston, we have a blender
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
