peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
