I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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