how can u be prego again
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
