Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Vodka?
Forever.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize