theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
