Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize