its not stalking. its research.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
