All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
