This girl is more easily done than said...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize