Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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