You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
