I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
