I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
