i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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