Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
