No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
