wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize