I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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