I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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