So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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