I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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