i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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